Put a HITCOUNTER here with a erally BIG NUMBER in it like you are visitor eight billoin and five thousand and a few so they think this is a really big site and loads of people in fact we can put like this:

in bold text so its big to see and then put some other stuf that we can think of like this to make it look like we are raelly BIG and even out some of them award graphcs here too like we have been sight of the week and stuff with gold awards and that. We could veen make a thing like that "myNetscape' or whatever so people can customise the page liek they like it not us and call it /MyBollocks/ but they can only do this if they are REGISTERED BONY-FIDE MEMBERS so they sign up and we get their details and stuff to send them the mailshots. We can sell em viagra and stuff, and even do the oild milk botlle increase your penis size scam - thats always a winner until people get onto it.

put a thing here for a DOUBLE YOUR DOWNLOAD SPEED free thing where we tell them you can COMBINE your UPLOAD speed and your DOWNLOAD speeds to make things twice as fast cos when you are downloading but dont have any upoads running then all that bandwidth is just sat there doing nothing so if they sign up members we give them instrcutions on how you set up your dial up networking [cos most of em run windows but if they have a mac or unix or something we give em SKY TVs customer service line number and then they press lots of button choice s and listen to hold music but think we must be a really big company and even if SKY catch us at this we can use another the same like vodafone or the GAS board or something to do this, but then we do not give the number unless thay have already signed up to membership so we have their stuff anyway. Even if they get through to a customer service person who does not know what the heck thay are on about they will just think this is normal] but if they divulge the secret to double the downloads speeds to a non member then they are black ballsed and we would know which one had passed it on because the text instructions has hidden secret algrithms like this page and we could track them down and expose thier misdemeanors and let people know that they are not to be trusted in the feedback area that thay cant see what we are saying in anymores cos they have been blackballsed out of there and even if they reregister in a assumed name we woudl know it is them beacuse our SERVER has tracked their keyboard habits when they type and compield this in a database and can identify them like DNA fingerprints anywhere in the world net and they cannot escape our chasing them down and unless they start learning to type with their whanger to disguise them selves we would get em anyway cos we would be looking for a whanger typist and there aint many of those apart from me and it werent me anyway cos I am Admin.

put a popup window that opens and offers free money in a Casino. 100 quid aught to do it, but make sure the punter has to deposit and bet at least 10,000k to get the money credit after 28 days.and they have to be MEMBERS here and the casino only works if they download the proprietry software and not on Win XP at all or 98 unless thay have SP1 fitted with new JVM and shockwave FLASH and that, but they cant get their money back unless they credit BACK through the same credit card number with both their membership number login things and then only through the propritry casino software bank interface thing.

Bollocks
Bollocks for sale. aff
Check out the deals now!
www.ebey.com

Bollocks For Sale
Low Priced Bollocks
Big Selection! (aff)
ebåy.co.uk

put a thing here

what tells people to chose from the menu below to select a FREE CAR or something what they might like to have free but then send them somewhere else or to a dead page like this free television one cos people hardly ever read the text so we could even say that if you click FREE TELEVISION you will have chose to go look at some porno stuff and they have to click the little box that says they have agreed the TERMS AND CONDITIONS but we have already set it to clicked on anyways so there cant be no comeback on us, and we could say that they have to do the register thing and be an account holder on our ATM cash machine open 24/7 cos its virtual and the money comes out your printer so they are bound to join up and sign up.

we could do one of them things where people click HERE and we give a dollar to the cancer bone marrow lukemia research foundation of America things, theyre a good scam ane people mai them to each other and its like viral marketing stuff and we get loads of site traffic and anyroad up nobdy CHECKS to see if we did give the money and we could have load sof small print and stuff to cover our arses anyway and even say when they clsiked it that of there are a member we make a double contibution so they could do twice the good and all it costs them is nothing except signing up as a member account with us and then we can mail them and suggest other ways based on their data profile that they could be helping the world by using our ATM cash machine thing which has no charges for withdrawals for money from yur inkjet even if its forign currency and stuff.

A thing here what I have not thought up yet, but to get more people signing up members and using the CASH MACHINE-ATM thing and they can reccommend up to five freinds but NO MORE because we are a secret service and this is in the user agreement thing that they agreed and anyway it make s it look more special exclusive if they are limited numbers so they all feel special and this is not a MLM scam thing because eveything we do is no charge, even free to members which in all events they will have agreed to the agreement anyway so we are covered if there s any hassle, but they dont know who we are anyway because we are just a page on the internet and we canot be traced because dave has put links all over to this page which moves around and is sometimes in Russia and Cuba and places like the cayman islands where its tax free and we will end on the beach buting a boat and renting out wetbikes and having a right old time without old bill even having a chance to get us extridited like ronnie bigs and lord lucan and gary glitter. There wont be no proof anyways because it werent us any of it we dont even have a computer except that trs80 and that is not for going on the internet its for other stuff typing and print outs only.

put a small thing here that is VERY important so people who scrolled to the bottom of thepage can win a chance to free stuff like a memorial in the pet cemetry even if their pet is not dead yet it will be valid fo r28 days so they might get lucky but it has no cash value.

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MISSING BOUY PHOTO
There were a picture of one here but Dave has deleted it off the server and we dont still have the orignal what we scanned so if you find it let Dean know.

Put a load of stuff here with filthy words and swearing and stuff like the porno sites do but with the text the same colour as the background so people looking for trouser tash and that on the big search engines directry end up on our website but they cant see the mucky words and end up doing the registration box thing and we get a right big mailing list and that. some stuff could be on the grey out serach menu drop down any way like 'huge tits' and 'free naked stuff' and 'more' so they will do the registration and that.

Put a thing here which is a computer ATM cash machine thing so people enter in their credit card or debit cash card details and we tell them to enrter in how much cash they want to withdraw and tel them it wil come out of their printer. Then we can use these card details to bid and buy FURBIES on ebay and have them sent to daves cousins in Malta and have a right old laugh at them. This would have to be a bit convincing cos not many people sent money to those Nigerain blokes, so we would need some monospaced green text on Black so IT LOOKED real, and then the credit card numbers would havve to FormMaile.pl 'ed to a secret address but not with an old version beore 1.92 or all those email scamsters would start using it for spamming things like that penis extaension viagra stuff on our server and getting us a bad name with the mailserver ISP provider people., in fact it might be best if we scammed around and found some old site srunning CGIa and sussed out one like this oursleves, after all it tells you how to this in the set up # lines in the scripts anyroad so probbly we can just do it ourseleves dead easy and be more of a sucess than them Nigerians.

put a picture here with a person young and MISSING - PLEASE HELP people click those, but we tell them they cannot help unless thay are a MEMBER cos we dont want people messing the police and missing persons about so they have to be BONE FIDE members and can help more and earn B-POINTS when they help with missing persons or use the CASH MACHINE ATM thing, we can use a photo of daves cousin and he did go missing in march so that real except we dont want to know where he is now. except Malta.

Baech scam fraud hoaxx thing at Porthemmet Beach story in Corwall Holiday resort to go here when Mick has written sum stuff to blag the SEO spiders and that so our hit coonters blody go freekin ballistic and we are mayd teh flipping Yahoo site of the Munth or whatever so he can feather is cap and that.